Moving on may sound easy when you tell your friends to do it but when it is you convincing yourself to move on, it is the hardest thing to do even harder than actually moving on. You can actually help a friend out of it but doing so for yourself will seem much harder until and unless you realize that it is you who has to do it at the end. It is you who has to pick yourself up from the pit that the other person dumped you in the pit of insecurities, the pit of feeling used, the pit of feeling worthless and move forward. Look at your friends every one went through one thing or the other and they have survived, so know that no matter how big and bad the breakup was it is not going to kill you because the pain is in your head, the psychological pain is actually harder to deal but not strong enough to kill you unless you take other measures to. Just know that suicide is just passing down your pain to the person who loves you the most not the one who dumped you over a text or a phone. you live or you die the bitter truth is the one who dumped you has already moved on and you no longer matter. Though we go through different ways of dealing with breakups but here are a few things that will actually help you to move on and a bit faster than you should.1. Analyse yourself:
Sit down and ask these basic questions to yourself,
1.Why am I hurting?
2. What was my contribution to this?
3.Why are you blaming yourself?
4. What was suppose to happen?
5. What actually happened?
6. What did you want to happen?
7. What do you want now to happen?
8. Will the result that you want will make you happy or is it a rash decision?
9. Will you love and trust the person again?
10. Do you know people never change?
11. What are your plans for yourself now?
12. Do I deserve somebody who cheated on me?
13. What worth am I?
Ask yourself these questions, deep down take time and analyse what you want to do about your life. All this time you were somebody's shadow how will you grab the opportunity to have the limelight.
2. What Next?
When you are in the phase you usually tend to forget that life keeps moving on along with you or without you. I am not saying you to just not grieve and pretend there is no pain the longer you deny it the longer it keeps coming back and haunt you so accept it and slowly let go but do not forget that it is only you whose life is actually being stuck the other person is already out there enjoying his/her part of life. Do not ruin it for somebody else that one day you look back at this phase with regret. Have a plan for the next day, if you are student do not miss out on your daily studies, or if working do not take off, the busier you are, your mind keeps being distracted. Every body knows that people usually fall back lock themselves in room but the sooner you realize to come out of it the better.3. Do not stay alone:
Staying alone may actually look like a better option as you feel betrayed, as you no longer can trust people, as you feel no body understands you but the best way of healing is actually letting out the pain even if it is thousand times on repeated version to same person or not but just let out until you feel you are done with it. Even if you do not want to just tag along with your good friends, staying alone all your mind does to you is show the vivid images of what things should have been but realize it did not means it never was meant to and if you both are meant to be why waste time thinking about it when one day things will eventually fall into place at least do not let them come back to you and say "nothing changed" show them you did and in a better way.4. Not everybody has to know:
This tips was handed down to me by the experts that not everyone who puts up an ear for you will empathize with your situation. Most of them just want a good gossip to be passed around. This the phase you want to let out emotion to every other person and want them to feel something for you but not everybody cares and always know everybody has their own problem. Just like you let success do the talking let people look at you and wonder how did you manage to do it because one fine day truth will come out and you no longer have to explain what happened. Just let the world see a stronger you.5. Do not get attached:
More than half of the people who know your story do not even care so do not let their sympathy fool you. Wait until you are healed because the person who left usually makes you feel unwanted, worthless, not enough and all you need is people to tell you it wasn't your fault, you are fine the way you are. Listen carefully do not let somebody validate your existence, YOU yes YOU are a diamond and you shine, the more cuts you have the costlier you are. Remember it never is your loss and it never will be. This is the right time for you to invest on yourself all the attention, the energy, the love, the care, the support. Do not shy away from new experiences. Learn to love yourself first. No body loves you the way do and one thing is sure everybody leaves but you remain even if it is just to bear the pain and heal but you remain so put more effort on what stays rather than the ones who leave. Closed eyes cannot see what an art you are.6. Accept and forgive:
Accept you made mistake and forgive yourself first. Touch your heart and say aloud " I was a fool to let somebody hurt me and a fool that I hurt myself too but I forgive myself today" accept that you are in pain but do not let it keep you down let it be the step that helps you move forward. and forgive those who hurt you it was their level but you know yours so let them go it is the hardest to do but you can.7. Books over Music:
Usually I write about music in good connotation but when you are sad every other song seems to relate and make it harder for you but there are a few songs like "sit still look pretty- Daya, Mr. Almost Meghan Trainor" so I would rather say stick to books like Rupi kaur and other authors which I shall update in my upcoming blogs.8. Travel:
Travel to new places, gain new experiences but do not use travel as an escape because like my brother said travelling is never an escape; how long can you run away from something when deep within you know you have to come back to the same place and wear the same shoe, face the same people, same routine but travel because you want to gain new experiences, travelling alone is one of the must do things in ones life. There is nothing as beautiful as that feeling may be that is only for me but it is a must try. Do put amazing places in your bucket list. (Sikkim never fails to amaze you) . If you want some help with travelling alone please check www.jabberspoint.com tips on travelling alone I hope it will be of some help to you. Every journey has something new to teach you.9. Pet:
If you are my regular reader you will know by now that I put so much emphasis on having pets. They are loyal than some humans out there. So invest all the love you have in them and they will always give you so much in return. Even if they don not stay like my cat Coffee who ran away but what he has given me still puts a smile on my face. Happy memories of mine. If you are a busy person, you can go for cats ( I have written about it too why having a cat as a pet is better www.jabberspoint.com Why cats are the idle pets) or fish or may be why not just love a stray dog at least feed it when you can or adopt a dog it will love you always.So these were a few things you can take into consideration and look at the Positive Side of a breakup. If you have some new ideas do pitch in.
